Hatfeilds, McCoys and the Inbread

I sat through all 6 hours of the "Hatfileds and McCoys" mini-series on the History Channel. It was actually pretty interesting. My favorite part was how you really couldn't choose sides. Both sides had good and terrible people. I'd also like to go on record saying that Jenna Malone's character, while a total whore, was also quite the bad ass. She was honestly the only woman that actually gathered information and got things done rather than sitting around dying and crying and having sick babies and crap. 

Yes, I'm talking about you, really ugly pale girl with the misshapen face. You were so anticlimactic. "I'm going to do the dishes." Plop. Dead. 

Also, were me and my family the only ones waiting for the special guy to die since the first installment? It's not that we wanted him to die, it's just that you could feel his death coming throughout the whole series. It reminded me of this 1955 documentary that I saw once called Age 13: The Inner Life of an "At Risk" Teenager. Throughout that entire short film you expect things to be molested. I say "things" because it wasn't just the boy or a little girl towards the end. At one point you honestly expect a cat to be molested as well. I swear to God, you think the uncle is going to go to town on a cat. It's not that you want it to happen, it's just that it seems like it's going to and you cringe and brace yourself for the horror that's going to happen and then suddenly the movie is over and it's both a relief and a "disappointment" for lack of a better word. Not disappointment because a traumatic event didn't happen, but disappointment because you prepared for something horrible and you feel lame for having done so when literally nothing happens. I think he runs away on a train or something really 1950's bad teenager-like. "Dick! Little Bobby's fallen off the wagon now. I caught him listening to some of that devil music and now he's run away to join the circus!"

It's no secret that I'm obsessed with the eras between 1940 to the early 60's. I think this was the most amazing time to live in and everything about it makes me wish I'd been born decades ahead of my time. I would have hated to be alive during the early days of America though. There was nothing glamorous or fun about those times. I'll take an era where I can poop indoors and cook without having to chop and burn wood first. Plus, I'm a big fan of personal hygiene. 

Speaking of cooking, dinner tonight was nothing really special. It's a few days before the next pay period so I went really cheap and simple with tonight's dinner. I made lemon pepper baked leg quarters with roasted bell pepper and onion potatoes that roasted in the dripping from the chicken. Yummy and a huge comfort food, but not exactly something I think requires a recipe. It's literally "chop all the veggies, season that and the chicken, throw in the oven and take out when everything is cooked."

That being said, instead of posting a recipe tonight I'll be taking the cat breading craze to the next level and posting a picture of Moses, my Yorkie, in a tortilla. Ole!

It's Not Burned, It's Rustic

But If it Were Burned I Would Blame it on the Fire From My Burning Hatred for Your Annoying Facebook Posts

Like most people these days, I have a slight Facebook addiction. As a matter of fact, most of you are here because you're from my Facebook page. I'll post a recipe, I promise, but can we talk about annoying Facebook people first?

I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for nearly three years now. We live together, have been through things together, but we pulled through. Everything that real relationships should be. What Really makes me annoyed are the people that constantly post about their significant others and not in normal ways. In "I'm a virgin and quite possibly in middle school" ways.

"_______ is the cutest in the world." 

"<3 <3 <3 <3 My heart belongs to _____"

"_______, you're myyy world, babii."

What am I, 12? I thought being 25 would mean not having to read that sappy crap.Focus that energy on actually telling your partner how much they mean to you and grow some balls. 

Also, another annoying thing is when girlfriends hijack their boyfriends pages and post really clingy and annoying things. Ladies, that's not what Fraping is for. The proper lady knows that it's for posting pictures of your bf posing with J. Bieb t-shirts with captions about how he can't stop his Bieber fever, changing his favorite quotes to RuPaul quotes and joining groups announcing his love of black cock. Yes, there is a group for that. Yes, I have done all of the above.

Of course, after a Frape that bad it's always best to get back into the kitchen and make something other than the usual sandwich. Something hearty with meat and potatoes. Something like Shepherd's Pie. 

Nice segue, huh? 

Colcannon Topped Shepherd's Pie

Colcannon

• 8 medium russet potatoes, peeled and sliced
• half a head of cabbage
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
• 1 medium yellow onion, diced
• 1/2 c butter
• 1 c milk or cream
• salt and pepper to taste

Place potatoes in a large pot and cover with water. In a separate pot place the garlic, onion and cabbage, also covered in water. Let both boil until potatoes are fork tender and cabbage is soft.
Once boiled, drain potatoes and mash with butter and milk as if making mashed potatoes.

Drain the cabbage mixture and stir into the mashed potatoes.
Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Meat mixture

• 2 lbs ground beef
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 bell pepper, diced
• 1 bag of frozen mixed vegetables
• 1 (8 oz) can of tomato sauce
• 2 tbs Red Wine Vinegar
• 1/2 c Worcestershire sauce
• garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste
• 2 tbs olive oil
• 2 c shredded Cheddar

Saute bell pepper and onion in a large pan with olive oil until soft.

Set vegetables to the side and in the same pan brown ground beef.

Drain the grease and add in cooked onion and bell pepper along with the frozen veggies (I usually don't thaw them before hand.)

Mix in tomato sauce, Worcestershire sauce and red wine vinegar.

Heat until vegetables are no longer frozen.

Season with garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste. 

If mixture is too tangy feel free to add a little bit of sugar.
Pour meat mixture into a 9x13 inch baking dish.

Top with the colcannon recipe.

Top that with cheddar cheese.

Place under the broiler for about 5 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly. 

If by chance you leave it under the broiler for a little too long like I did, pretend you did it on purpose and call it rustic. They'll never even doubt you.

          

Leftovers, Crafts and Masks... Oh My!

We still have a lot of pasta and cake left so tonight was a fend for yourself night. It was also an incredibly lazy night and was pretty uneventful so I don't have anything interesting to post.

I did start making an apron out of an old t-shirt though and I should have that tutorial coming soon. It turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought it was going to be since I have an endless supply of fabrics and sewing gadgets here thanks to my sister taking a semester of Fashion Design last year.

Other than that, my night was spent watching TV with the boyfriend and the family and feasting on leftovers. Did anyone else see the premiere of "The Hatfields and McCoys" miniseries? What were your thoughts? It seemed pretty interesting, but I'll wait until I see the other two to form an opinion.

The only thing that could have made this day more relaxing is my homemade strawberry and chocolate mud mask that I have cooling in the fridge and may just have to use before going to bed. The cocoa and sour cream moisturizes, the strawberry is an antioxidant with anti aging and pore shrinking benefits, the honey is a natural cleanser and the oatmeal exfoliates. Warning: it smells like chocolate brownies and it will make you crave chocolate.

Chocolate and Strawberry Mask

• 1/4 c powdered cocoa
• 1/2 c sour cream
• 5 strawberries, mashed
• 2 tbs honey
• 1 tbs crushed oatmeal

Mix all ingredients together in a resealable bowl.
Cleanse skin and apply a toner.
Dry face and apply mask.
Leave on for at least 15 minutes. I usually leave it on for an hour or so or until mask has hardened.
Rinse face.
Apply a moisturizer.

Mask should last a few weeks if kept in fridge.

How to Make a Forno

Growing up Catholic there was always a milestone to celebrate. Baptism, Catechism, confirmation, feast days, etc. My sister made her confirmation today and to celebrate, I was asked to make her favorite dinner for her and 14 other guests. Her favorite dinner is an amazingly simple pasta al forno that takes minutes to make and tastes like you've slaved over the stove for hours.

It was an incredibly long day filled with family, friends, laughter and great food. It was exactly the way Sundays should be.

Below is a smaller recipe for the pasta al forno recipe that I used only because I'm pretty sure nobody needs to make enough pasta to feed 20 people on a regular basis. If you do, just quadruple the recipe and you should have enough to feed everyone, have seconds and still have leftovers.

 Please excuse the fine china in the picture, but I'll be damned if I'm cooking for nearly 20 people and then washing their dishes too. A special thank you to Hill Country Fare foam plates. They're bad for the environment, but the way I figure, there's enough tree hugging hippies and conspiracy buying scarved hipsters to make up for the fact that I just don't care enough. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go out making six pack necklaces for ducks or strangling baby whales (although, frankly, watching "Whale Wars" has made me realize that Whale meat looks incredibly delicious), but I'm also not going to stop using Styrofoam or aerosol hairspray. I'm from Texas! I need that hairspray. If that offends you, you'll probably enjoy the Birkenstock ad I placed in this just for you. Honestly though,  if Mother Nature were a real entity she'd jump at the chance to eat this dish no matter what it was served on. She'd probably even club a seal for it. Allegedly. Do I have to say allegedly here?                                  


Who cares? Manja!


                                                                         

We served this along with a simple salad of iceberg and red leaf lettuce with carrots and tomato and toasted garlic bread.

                           Pasta al Forno                              Serves about 6- 8

• 1 package (12 oz) of short pasta such as penne or ziti
• about 4 cups of homemade sauce or 1 (26 oz) jar of Prego Fresh Mushroom Italian Sauce
• 1 package of Italian sausage with casing removed
• 1 lb ground beef
• 2 c shredded mozzerella
• 1/2 c shredded Parmasan (not the powdered stuff)
• salt
• 1 tsp oregano
• 2 cloves garlic, minced

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Boil pasta in salted water until al dente. The water should taste like the ocean. 

While pasta is boiling, in a separate pot, brown beef and sausage together. Drain and stir in sauce.
Pour meat and sauce mixture over cooked and drained pasta and mix until all pasta is coated with sauce.

Pour into a 9x13 inch baking dish.

Top with Mozzerella and Parmasan.

Place in oven for about 10 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly with slight browning.

Sooooooooooooooul Food

Growing up in the south I'm no stranger the delicious, warm, often spicy, and usually quite fatty comfort food known as soul food. This can range from fried catfish to collard greens with bacon and onion mixed in. So mouth watering. I'm a huge fan of things that mix sweet and salty flavors. Because of this chicken and waffles is one of my favorite classics that I've added my own twist to.

Usually you serve chicken and waffles with a  piece of greasy fried chicken. I serve mine with oven "fried" chicken. The addition of Panko bread crumbs makes it extra crispy and you don't even miss the fried part. The recipe for the Faux Fried Chicken below makes a lot for one reason; this recipe is amazing cold the next day.
I'm not including the recipe for waffles though, since for this particular meal we just used Hungry Jack brand pancake mix and followed the directions for making waffles in the waffle iron. Either way, the crispy, sweet waffles and maple syrup paired with the extra crispy, salty and spicy chicken was so comforting and so worth a try for all of you chicken and waffle skeptics out there.

This dish is great served with waffles or with mashed potatoes and homemade coleslaw or collard greens. 

                          Faux Fried Chicken                         Makes about 14 pieces

• 14 pieces of chicken, thawed and skinned
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1/4 cup Frank's Red Hot sauce 
• 1 tbs Sriracha Sauce
• 4 cups panko bread crumbs
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp black pepper

In a large bowl combine the chicken pieces, buttermilk, Frank's Red Hot and Sriracha.
Toss all of the ingredients together so that the buttermilk becomes a pink color and the chicken is fully submerged.
Cover the bowl and marinate for at least 1 hour. I usually marinate it overnight.
The next day preheat the oven to 450 °F.
Place the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix well. 
Grab one piece at a time and toss it in the bread crumb mixture until it is pretty much fully coated. Dip it back into the buttermilk and then into the crumbs again.
Place all coated pieces on a lightly greased or nonstick baking sheet and bake for about 30 minutes or until  golden brown, crispy and the internal temperature reads 165 °F.

Bacon Lover's Dinner

Thursday's dinner was a huge hit with my family. Who doesn't love a bacon themed dinner? This meal dedicated to the salty, crispy, strips of Heaven featured Baked Potato Soup with a BLTE.

I've heard of a BLT, but what's the E, you might ask. The "E" is a fried or poached egg set on top of the sandwich that, once popped, distributes the runny yolk throughout the different layers and adds an added delicious component to an otherwise pretty drab sandwich. When paired with a chunky, bacony, creamy baked potato soup it is absolutely amazing.

                               BLTE                                                        Serves 5

1 lb of bacon, fried crisp with grease drained and reserved

5 rolls of good, hearty bread (I usually use sourdough rolls, but the picture below is a small bolillo roll)

5 eggs

2 large tomatoes or 4 Roma tomatoes, sliced

leafy greens such as romaine lettuce, spinach or arugula

Take the rolls and split them in half. With a brush apply a very small amount to the halves and set them in a hot pan or an indoor grill. Toast on both sides. 

Once all breads are toasted, take the five eggs and fry or poach them individually until the whites are solid and there is no longer any cloudy liquid. 

Place both halves of the rolls on a plate and layer it with your choice of leafy green, a few slices of tomato, a few slices of bacon and one egg on top. Serve open face with the other half of the roll on the side. Repeat 5 times.

                              Baked Potato Soup                       Serves about 10

5 large potatoes
1 quart of chicken stock
1 C half and half
1/4 cup of bacon lardons fried with grease reserved
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tbs butter
1 tsp salt

Bake all five potatoes until tender. Cube up four potatoes into about 1/2 inch pieces. Peel the skin off of one potato and set to the side.
 In a large pot add the butter and saute the garlic until soft and aromatic.
Add in the peeled potato and mash as if making mashed potatoes.
Add into the pot the chicken stock and half and half.
Stir in the lardons, cubed potatoes and salt along with about 1 tbs of the reserved bacon grease.
Top with chives, cheese, bacon crisps and/or sour cream.


      

Welcome, lovelies!

By "our" I obviously mean me and my long list of multiple personalities.
Either way, Welcome to Planet Claire. Planet Claire has Pink air. All the- okay. I'll stop.

                                       

I promised that I would launch my new blog today and damn it, I refuse to break that promise. It's still under construction, but be prepared for the expected awesomeness often displayed by yours truly. ;)


Things you can soon expect:

• Recipes galore! Casseroles, cookies, cocktails, Coq au Vin, cupcakes and more.
• Crafts! Punk decoupage, t-shirt refurbishing, shoe refurbishing and crafts for kids that don't look like crap.
• Gossip! I mean, what kind of unwed housewife would I be if I didn't provide a little gossip? As Clairee from "Steel Magnolias" said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me." It's one of my mottos, ya know.
• Reviews! Okay, okay, this really has nothing to do with my anti-Martha Stewart personality, but it has everything to do with my pro-Claire one. 

I hope you guys enjoy it! Please share the link for this blog, like it, reference it, click the ads, etc.


Thanks!
CCXO