Me So Hungry. This Recipe No Take Long Time.

Is the title politically incorrect? You bet your midget ass it is!    _______________________________________________________________________________________

One of the sad truths of living during a recession is that you have to give up on the little things. One of the things that I miss most is Chinese take out. I also lived in Idaho for a year and while nothing compares to seeing the Maples turn red in fall, the crisp fresh air, the amazing snow topped mountains or late night snow ball fights; one thing they didn't have was decent Chinese food. We searched high and low for a place where we could get crisp General Tso Chicken that wasn't served with the sauce on the side or Beef and Broccoli that didn't look like soup and had flavor. Another thing that was hard to find were good egg rolls. Instead of giving up, I took this as a challenge. A challenge that I quickly accepted.

I searched for the perfect recipe and finally found one that didn't completely suck. I had no idea how simple it was to make egg rolls. The only thing that made them so tedious was the rolling part. If you've read my Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe you know how much I hate unnecessary rolling of things and always look for a way to make it easier and save time.

My friend Brandy is a Tupperware salesperson and before I left to Idaho we threw a Tupperware party. During that party I acquired this awesome little Empanada maker. I have made so many things with this one little contraption. Everything from fruit pies to chicken pot pies and homemade hot pockets. This inspired me to take everything from egg rolls and make a hybrid of a Fried Wanton, Egg Roll and a classic Empanada.

This may sound like an infomercial, but my favorite part about this gadget is that since it's Tupperware, it has a lifetime warranty which means I'll always have an Empanada maker no matter what. I wouldn't recommend filling them with baby poop like the one in the picture though.

I came up with this: A delicious little pocket of Egg Roll deliciousness with all of the flavor and none of the hassle. Plus, any chance I get to use new, fun products is always good. By request from the family, we served this with Cilantro Lime Rice but you could substitute that with Fried Rice or Lo Mein  or just eat these by themselves.

Extra Large Fried Wantons or Lazy Egg Roll Empanadas

• 16 oz pack of Nasoya Egg Roll Wrappers
• 16 oz bag of coleslaw mix
• 2 lbs ground pork or chicken
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1/4 c Oyster Sauce
• 1/4 c Soy Sauce
• 4 c oil in a small sauce pan

Brown chicken or pork in a large skillet with onion, pepper and ginger.

Remove from heat and transfer to a large bowl.

Add in package of coleslaw mix.

Stir in sugar, soy sauce and oyster sauce.

*For those with an empanada maker: Use bottom of gadget to cut a circle into one egg roll wrapper. Place circular wrapper on top, fill with 2 tbs of cabbage and meat mixture, wet edges with water and fold gadget closed. Repeat with remaining wrappers.

*For those without an empanada maker: Use a bowl to cut out a circle into one egg roll wrapper. Place wrapper flat and fill with 2 tbs of cabbage and meat mixture, wet edges with water and pinch closed. Use a fork around edges to make a design and ensure that all edges are closed properly. Repeat with remaining wrappers.

Heat oil in a small sauce pan and, one at a time, place the pockets into the oil. 

Fry until golden brown and bubbly.

So, You Want to Dine Like John Stamos?

Well, I'm sorry. We're all out of Cocaine, Oikos Greek yogurt, and Olsen Twins' tears. This is what I imagine John Stamos's diet consists of. We also aren't sure how to make recipes for Dave Coulier's penis so you're out of luck— or are you? Read on, lovelies.

"Was it made of— wood?" I'm sure Uncle Jessie knows.

I love going out and discovering new restaurants that nobody ever goes to. It makes me feel like I've found my own little piece of Heaven. My favorite find was this quaint little Greek place that had the freshest ingredients and the most delicious dishes. My mom and I used to go almost every morning for breakfast. They made an amazing Greek omelet. They also had the cheapest mouth watering lunch specials. One of these specials was a Chicken Oreganatto plate. The chicken was marinated perfectly and the was so juicy.

I moved to Idaho for a year and missed it so much that I searched everywhere for the perfect recipe and came up with this one shown below.  Of course, the downfall of me liking secret restaurants that nobody ever goes to is that they all eventually close down, as did this one. The same thing happened with this amazing little Middle Eastern place that my friend and I discovered. They had such delicious Chicken Shawarma and a fantastic selection in their hookah bar section. It was the cheapest form of a luxurious lunch I've ever had. 

Enough reminiscing! Here's my way of faking something exotic while not breaking the bank and still being able to treat yourself to an international dish using very little ingredients. To fake it being even more fancy, serve on a bed of red leaf lettuce on a platter. People eat with their eyes, unless your from Florida, then you probably just eat people's eyes.

Chicken Oreganatto   

• 5 leg quarters, skin removed, preferably legs separated from thighs but it isn't necessary
• 1 small bundle (about 10 sprigs) of fresh Oregano, chopped
• juice of two lemons
• 1/2 c olive oil
• salt, pepper, garlic to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a medium bowl whisk together lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic until it forms a nice vinaigrette. 

Stir in chopped Oregano.

Place chicken pieces in a large bowl or dish and marinate no less than one hour. I usually marinate them overnight.

Once finished marinating, place in a baking dish and bake until internal temperature reaches 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Serve with a simple salad with Green Goddess dressing or:

Quinoa Tabouleh

• 2 c uncooked Quinoa
• 4 c chicken broth
• 1 bundle Parsley, chopped
• 1 large cucumber, peeled and diced
• 3 Roma tomatoes, diced
• 1/2 c green onions
• Salt, peppr, garlic to taste
• 1- 4 to 6 oz container of crumbled Feta

Boil chicken broth and Quinoa together.

Once boiling, reduce heat and cover until all water in evaporated.

Stir in everything except for Feta.

If serving warm, add in Feta and serve.

If serving chilled, stick in the fridge or freezer until desired temperature and stir in Feta before stirring.

Sidenote: I know that Tabouleh is traditionally made with Bulgar and mint. I hate both of those things and found the mint to be to overpowering. This has a much better flavor and the Feta adds to it.

Up(cycle) Yours, Hippie Bitch!

I have a confession. I'm about as far from green as you can get. I use Styrofoam plates occasionally, I am addicted to aerosol hairspray, my favorite kinds of vehicles are large ones such as trucks or SUVs and I don't recycle. As a matter of fact, the recycling bins that used to be issued quickly became storage bins/ laundry baskets. 

I know, I know. It's not a good thing. I figure that I can at least rely on hippies to do all of that boring stuff for me. I do try to buy sustainable and organic foods (unless of course I'm making Blue Fin Tuna and Whale casserole.) and I am the queen of upcycling. I think it started when I was a little girl and I'd take my old underwear, cut the crotch area out and sew dresses for my Barbies out of the rest of the material. It sounds weird, but the underwear were clean and my Barbies always had the latest fashions.

Nowadays I've upgraded from using old butt parts from underwear and instead use clothes that are too old or ratty to donate. My sister does the same thing and we share a large bag of torn up clothes that we look through and craft with. She even profited off of this by making and selling small Ugly Doll-like plushies.

The most recent upcycled craft I made was out of an old corkboard, some old cloth from tshirts and jeans and red tempura paint. I made a menu board for my mom's apple themed kitchen. She loved it!
I will admit that this menu board is more whimsical and quirky than most available out there, but that's only because the kitchen (and the person) that I made this for is whimsical and quirky. You can make your own boards according to your own tastes and decor.     

Upcycled Menu Board

Old wood framed cork board

paint

old cloth in coordinating colors

construction paper in coordinating colors

knitting needle

pins

Sharpie marker

Aileen's Tacky Glue

scissors

embellishments such as foam letters

 Paint the frame of the corkboard in your choice of color. Don't worry if some gets on the cork part. 

Cut a rectangle of fabric that you want to use as the background . Put a line of glue along the  underside of the frame and using your knitting needle, tuck the fabric under the frame.

Cut out embellishment from your coordinating  fabric to list the days. In this case I cut a wave out of white t shirt and mounted the foam letters on squares of beige material which I then mounted on the wave and glued to the side of the board in the same way that I glued the green background. Another functional decoration I made were the pockets made out of old denim material. These will hold markers, extra pins and slips of paper.

Cut slips out of construction paper and mount white paper on top. I used red, green and yellow paper  not only because they coordinated with my design, but because they also help me to design a good balance of mixed meals. Red is for beef, pork or lamb dishes. Yellow is for fish and poultry. Green is for vegetarian dishes.

Make a sign that says "Menu" out of construction paper and lettering. Post it to the top.
Write out the different dishes you plan on making throughout the week using Sharpie and slips of paper. Pin them next the coordinating day to answer the question "What's for dinner." ahead of time.

Chicken Cordon Casserole and my secret Love/Hate Relationship with the French

Before I start this I'm going to say it before anyone else does. Yes, I know. Chicken Cordon Casserole translates to Casserole Ribbon Chicken. I'm from 'Merica. I doubt that the translation of the title will offend any French. Mainly because they're probably too busy not shaving their armpits, waving white flags, being snobs and smoking their cigarettes in odd ways to even care. I hate secretly want to be am envious of  am not partial to the French, but I love their cuisine, music, style, architecture and culture.

"Doesn't that mean you adore them," you might ask.

To which I'd reply, "Shut your whore mouth." Then run off into the distance crying loudly and flailing my arms.

What most people don't realize is that while Chicken Cordon Bleu sounds French, it isn't French at all. It's about as American as inventing a dish in 1967 and giving it a French name to make it sound fancy. Which is exactly what it is.

Oh no! You thought that those little Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwiches you find under heat lamps in convenience stores or those little bite sized morsels that are in the frozen food section were French food? You thought you were being fancy and sophisticated? You thought that it meant you had a taste for international fair?

Well you, my friend, are an idiot wrong. I still love you though.

Don't worry. While the dish may not be French, it is freakin' delcious. Who doesn't want ham and cheese wrapped in a flattened chicken breast then breaded and fried? (lol! You thought that was French.) All I know is that it is amazingly delicious, but rolling it up and frying it is so tedious and time consuming. 

We've already established that I'm 'Merican. If there is one thing the good ole U.S of A believes in, it's convenience.  I love convenience about as much as a French person loves avante garde films about nothing. I've seen  those films and I'm assuming that's a lot.

My love for convenience caused me to look for a more convenient Cordon Bleu recipe. I found a few for casseroles and a few for basically just throwing stuff on top of a piece of chicken. I pieced together pieces from those recipes and came up with this delicious, easier and slightly more healthy recipe.

Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole  

• 5 boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into 1 inch bite sized pieces
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 c milk
• 2 c Italian breadcrumbs
• 8 slices of smoked ham
• 2 c Swiss cheese (I'm not a fan of Swiss so I've used Monterrey and Mozzarella before)
• 4 c cooked white rice
• 1 large can cream of mushroom soup with 1 c milk whisked in
• salt, pepper, garlic to taste
• cooking spray

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Whisk together the eggs and milk. 

Dredge the chicken pieces in the mixture.

Place the breadcrumbs in a sealable bag or large bowl.

Place dredged pieces in breadcrumbs and coat completely.

Place pieces on a cooking spray coated baking sheet in a single layer.

Spray cooking spray over pieces to ensure even browning.

Bake for about 30 minutes or until pieces are golden brown and cooked thoroughly.

While chicken is baking, mix the cream of mushroom in with the white rice, reserving about 1 cup of soup.

Season mixture with salt, pepper and garlic to taste.

Spoon the soup and rice mixture into a baking dish evenly.

Place the ham on top of the rice in a single layer making sure to overlap some of the slices.

Spoon remaining soup over ham.

Put all of the baked chicken pieces on top.

Top with all of the cheese.

Place under the broiler until cheese on top is melted and bubbly. (about 4-5 minutes)

Serve alone or with a side salad.

 

Sidenote: I really hope that Edith Piaf is playing while you're reading this.

I'd talk about my meatloaf, but it's pretty obscure. You've probably never heard of it.

It's no secret that there is this huge cupcake craze sweeping the nation. Everything can be found in cupcake form, including TV shows. Cupcakes are also extremely popular with Hipsters. Oh, you don't know what a hipster is?

Well now you do.

No need to thank me, but...

... you're welcome in advance.

Now that we have a relatively good idea of a hipster is, we can continue with our cupcake discussion. All I have to say is that despite them being popular and taken over by modern day hippies, I have to admit that I am in love with them. I love all sorts of cupcakes; little ones, huge ones, gourmet ones, store bought ones, sweet ones and savory ones. 

"Did she just say she likes savory cupcakes?" You might ask. Why, yes, I did. Which brings me to one of the cutest ways to revamp a boring weekly staple and everyone's go to budget meal. Meatloaf in a cupcake form

They are adorable, fun, you can top them with anything, and this way everyone gets that coveted end piece. They are also great ways to practices portion control and kids love them. 

Actually, I'm just assuming kids love them because I don't have any children, but my 17 year old sister loved them and she is an extremely picky eater. So, yes, I'm sure kids love them.

Meatloaf Cupcakes                makes about 12 plus 1 small loaf

• 1 lb ground beef or chuck
• 1 lb uncooked breakfast sausage such as Jimmy Dean
• 1 green bell pepper, chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 TBS olive oil
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup uncooked oatmeal
• garlic, salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a medium skillet heat the oil and saute the bell pepper and onion until the bell pepper is tender and the onions are translucent. 

Mix all of the ingredients, including the sauteed veggies until everything is fully mixed together.

Form meat mixture into round domes and place in a greased cupcake pan, being sure to tuck the mini meatloafs in on the sides to allow room for the grease. I usually have meat mixture left over after filling one pan so I make a tiny meatloaf and save it for the next day and make meatloaf sandwiches for lunch.

Bake for about 30-45 minutes or until crisp and brown on top.

Once they are out of the oven, transfer them to a dish or cookie sheet and frost with mashed potato icing:

Mashed Potato Icing

• 6- 8 large potatoes, peeled and sliced
• 1/2 C butter
• 3/4 C milk or cream
• 1/4 C sour cream
• salt and pepper to taste

Boil potatoes until they are fork tender. 

Drain potatoes and add in all of the other ingredients.

Using a hand blender or mixture, blend until potatoes are completely lump free.

Place into a piping bag and pipe on top of Meatloaf Cupcakes like icing. Have fun with the design. Just like  regular cupcakes, there is really no wrong way to ice them. 

Top with green onion, cheese, bacon crumbles, etc.

Tackling Taco Tuesday for non-Traditional Types with Tilapia. Teehee!

As many of you that follow this blog on Facebook via our page (shameless self promoting alert: http://www.facebook.com/TheUnwedHousewife) know, I have been without internet for awhile which meant that I had to go on a brief hiatus from blogging. This was incredibly inconvenient seeing as how I had just started this blog and had to stop after just a few posts. Thankfully, the internet is back on for at least another month `and now all I have to do is battle a computer hogging YouTube addicted 17 year old sister that is on Summer vacation for control over the internet. Ermahgerd!

The one thing that is good about this is that although I put a pause on blogging, I still went ahead and photographed a lot of the meals I made. I know have a small arsenal of already edited and ready for posting pictures. One of my favorite meals are Fish Tacos and since Tuesday is Taco Tuesday, today is the perfect time to share that. It's a yummy twist on boring, traditional ground meat, cheese, lettuce and tomato tacos and they are so much healthier.

For those that don't mind music with crude lyrics, this song is constantly in my head when I talk about fish tacos. :/ Ha! Betty Blowtorch- Fish Taco Whore

Fish Tacos w/ Mango Salsa

• about 5-10 Tilapia fillets 
• 1 large red onion, chopped
• 1 bundle of cilantro, chopped
• 2 mangos, peeled and diced
• 2 roma tomatoes, diced
• 2 cloves of garlic, mined
• 1 jalapeno, minced
• coleslaw mix (carrot and cabbage, shredded)
• 1 tortilla per fillet

Pat Tilapia fillets dry and season with salt and pepper. Place fillets on a greased, heated indoor grill and grill until fish is no longer opaque.
In a large bowl combine all ingredients except for fish, tortillas and coleslaw mix. Stir in salt to taste.

Heat tortillas and place fillets inside. 

Top with coleslaw mix and then top that with the mango salsa.

This recipe is excellent when served with Black Bean Salsa and Cilantro Lime Rice

Black Bean Salsa

• 1 can black beans
• 1 package frozen corn
• 1 large can of rotel
• 1/2 bundle cilantro, chopped
• 1 tsp cumin
• 3 tsp chili powder

Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan. Heat and serve. Also goes fantastic spooned on top of Fish Tacos.

Cilantro Lime Rice

• 2 cups uncooked white rice
• 1/2 bundle of cilantro, chopped
• juice of 2 limes
• 3 teaspoons of chicken bullion powder

Follow directions on package of rice. Add in all of the other ingredients while boiling. Serve when water is completely evaporated. 

Proving that Sour Grapes are Not Always Hard to Swallow

Another delicious Summertime treat on a hot Summer day are nice, cold and refreshing Sour Patch Grapes. Like a Sour Patch Kid, these grapes are sweet and sour. There are a lot of recipes on the internet for this recipe, but we added something to make them extra sour and not just sweet like the other recipes. My boyfriend is a huge fan of sour candy so he had to try this. Considering that it's basically grapes and Jello, this is also an excellent alternative to candy, a great way to cool down on a hot day and a fantastic way to incorporate more fruits into diets. I'm not a fan of sour candy, and I loved these. Now to figure out a way to make these alcoholic. 

Sour Patch Grapes Done Right

• 1 package green grapes
• 8 oz package Lime Jello (unprepared)
• juice of 3 lemons

Rinse grapes in a colander.

Place into a bowl with the lemon juice and toss around. Let sit for a few minutes and continue coating them in the lemon juice.

Empty contents of the lime jello into a Ziploc bag.

Strain excess lemon juice from grapes, but be sure they are still saturated. 

Place all grapes into the Ziploc with the jello powder and shake.

Put into a bowl, bag, or plate and chill in the fridge for about 30 minutes or until powder has hardened a bit and looks like little crystals. 

Try not to eat them all.

Summertime Treats- Chorizo Burgers

Summertime is almost here. I'm not to happy about that. My favorite part about summertime is staying inside with the air condition around the 60's. It's the reason why I live on the gulf and still manage to stay incredibly pale. I'd much rather be indoors having fun than in the heat being eaten alive by mosquitoes like they're some sort of salt bath crazed homeless man. I'm from Texas so I can't even say that barbecues are my favorite part. We do that all year. It's not even uncommon to walk outside on Thanksgiving and smell the scent of mesquite smoked chicken and fajitas grilling over the barbecue pit.


I do like cooking seasonally though. This weekend my boyfriend made us all some delicious gourmet chorizo burgers. They were spicy and words can't even describe how yummy they were. He cooked these on an indoor George Foreman grill, but we have cooked these over a barbecue pit before and it's even more delicious.

Chorizo Burgers 

• 8 oz Mexican chorizo 
• 1 lb ground beef
• 2 eggs
• 3 tbs McCormick Grill Mates Hamburger Seasoning
• hamburger buns
• cheddar or pepper jack cheese
• lettuce, tomato, avocado, sliced onions

Mix the chorizo, beef , eggs and seasoning together in a large bowl then form into about 8 oz patties.

Place over heated grill and grill until cooked all they way, which should be about 4-5 minutes per side.
Once done, place patties on a baking sheet and put cheese on top.

To help melt the cheese put them into an oven preheated to 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 1-2 minutes or until chesse is fully melted.

Place on buns and top with your choice of chopped veggies. 

Dinner Challenge!

A few weeks ago I had a friend of mine post two recipes, an entree and a side dish, and I had to cook them and post pictures. At the time I was living with someone that did not like onions or mushrooms. That made it even more challenging for my friend to find a recipe for me. In the end she came up with Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk and a recipe for Potato, Spinach and Red Bell Pepper Salad with Warm Bacon Vinaigrette. I was happy about the warm potato salad but I was a bit apprehensive when it came to chicken in milk. It just didn't sound appetizing. I accepted the challenge anyway and I'm so glad I did. I made a few alterations to the recipes to suit my tastes such as adding 5 strips of bacon to the salad instead of the suggested one, and I used chicken breasts instead of a roasting chicken in the chicken in milk recipe.

I was so surprised to taste how amazingly flavorful the chicken in milk was. It was tender and lemony and the perfect springtime meal. I have made it three times since. The potato salad was sweet, salty, tangy and bacony. I even made it for Mother's Day.

Why does this matter? Because I want to do this again. I need everyone to suggest recipes for me and on the 1st and 15th of each month I will pick one entree and one or two entrees to cook, feature on this blog and on the Facebook page along with your name, pictures of the meal and the recipes.

• Recipes can be from other sites, cookbooks, family recipes, concoctions you've made, whatever! 
• I enjoy making both easy and complicated dishes. Overnight recipes are welcome too. 
• I enjoy food from different cultures. I'm very familiar with Italian, French, Indian, Chinese, Mexican and Spanish cuisine.
• Vegetarian dishes are welcome too.
• Diet friendly recipes are even okay. Low calorie, fat free, diabetic, gluten free; all fine.
• My family does not have any restrictions on what they won't eat. Onions, veggies, all proteins, etc. They're all welcome.
• Desserts are fine too.
• Keep in mind that I live by the Gulf so fresh seafood is easy to come by.
•  All I ask is that they at least be somewhat budget friendly. Meaning I can't make dishes featuring white truffles, but I can probably make something featuring Portobellos.

I can't wait to try some of the things you guys dare me to make. 

Chicken in Milk on a bed of fresh spinach with a side of Potato, Spinach and Red Bell Pepper Salad with Warm Bacon Vinaigrette