Why I Fed Chicken Parm to a House of Zombies

I was really sick for a few days. Actually, everyone at my house was sick. It was like the movie "Contagion" in here. I spent the rest of my check on cold and flu medicine. I have insurance now and probably should have gone to the doctor, but I come from a long line of people that believe in the healing properties of Vick's Vapor Rub, NyQuil, Alka-seltzer, Sprite and Chicken Soup. 

It must work though because after that medical routine and two days of being quarantined, we all made it back to work today. Well, maybe not so much "made it" as much as "we had to drag ourselves to work because that's what responsible adults do" -or some crap like that. I don't know. This whole mature adult thing is new to me. I'm still finding it hard to hold my tongue and not talk back if someone tries to correct me. I'm doing a good job of it though. I'm even keeping my cool with irate clients. I think the lovely paycheck and benefits have encouraged that. Whatever works, right?

All of my time at work is spent sitting down answering phones. I'm actually enjoying that, however I'm not exactly a dainty girl and I fear that I'll become Honey Boo Boo's thumb Mom. I just don't think I could pull off the melting into yourself look.

And yes, if you're counting that most certainly is the second reference to Honey Boo Boo in one week.

This fear of becoming Honey Boo Boo's mom has lead to me looking for healthier alternatives. For instance lunch today was a homemade turkey gyro on a wheat pita (because if you follow us on Facebook you know about my disdain for the crap served at the work cafeterestaurant), carrot and celery sticks with homemade Tzatziki (strained Greek Yogurt with shredded cucumber and minced garlic) and Coconut Water. It was amazing. I have fancy lunches. 

So, I've been revamping old meals into something at least a tad bit healthier. Sadly, only half of the people that I cooked for could even taste anything I made last night. What's that? You want to know what I made for dinner? Well, lovelies, you're in luck. Not only do I have the picture of what I made, but also the recipe. ENJOY!

Chicken Parmesan        Serves 6

3 boneless skinless chicken breasts

2 egg whites

1/2 C milk

2 C Italian Breadcrumbs

Non-stick Cooking Spray

1 C fat free Mozzarella

4 C marinara (I used Fresh Mushroom Prego since I did not have the time or energy for homemade. Sue me.)

Preheat oven to 350*F

Pound each chicken breast to 1/4 inch thickness and then cut in half.

Beat egg whites and milk together.

Dip chicken pieces in mixture and then toss in breadcrumbs to coat.

Spray cooking spray on large cookie sheet.

Place coated pieces on sheet and then spray pieces with spray.

Bake for about 25 minutes or until golden brown and cooked all the way through.

Top with about 2 TBS marinara and about 1 TBS cheese.

Place back in oven until melted. About 2 minutes.

Serve on top of spaghetti topped with extra sauce with a side salad.

When Life Gives You Vodka, Drink It, but Occasionally Mix it with Pudding and Whipped Cream

I know I've been slacking, lovelies. Times have been crazy. Just kidding. I've been a lazy ass. I really have. There is no excuse. Work isn't very strenuous, I come home, cook (not a chore if you love it), watch TV and then tell myself that I'll definitely blog tomorrow. The next day I go through the same process until it's Saturday, I'm blogless and I'm sleeping late then shopping or lounging around. I really don't have an excuse for neglect. Thank God I'm childless or my children would be starved and injured laying somewhere on the floor begging for my attention.

Okay, maybe that's a bit drastic, but this blog is my baby and I've definitely neglected it. Not so much Dina Lohan neglect, but definitely along the lines of Honey Boo Boo neglect minus the whole looking like I'm melting into myself thing.

Never fear, lovelies! I come bearing gifts. Not just any gift. Gifts of Vodka. Not just any Vodka. CHOCOLATE vodka. Not just ANY chocolate Vodka. Chocolate Pudding Vodka shots.

I'll just pause here to let you guys finish your orgasm wake up from fainting with delite.

When it comes to chocolate flavored vodka, go crazy with it. Try different brands. I like Godiva, but 360 Double Chocolate Vodka is just as amazing, if not more amazing. It's also cheaper and if you're into all that green recycling stuff, you can mail in the top and they reuse it or something like that.

And yes, that is a shot glass in the picture. It's shaped like a mini mug. I used to serve my little God sister hot cocoa in these. AGAIN, another reason it's a good thing I don't have babies yet. All I have to say is that kid can shoot hot chocolate with the best of 'em now.

And now, the pièce de résistance! I copied and pasted that word to make it seem fancier for you. Are you impressed yet? Oo la la!

• 

                 Chocolate Pudding Shot

• 1 (3/2 oz) package instant chocolate pudding
• 3/4 C milk
• 3/4 C Chocolate flavored Vodka
• 1 (8 oz) container Extra Creamy Cool Whip
• 1 can Whipped Cream for topping

Mix pudding and milk until well blended.

Add Chocolate Vodka and mix well.

FOLD in container of Cool Whip

Divide into 1 oz plastic cups or keep in container

Store in freezer until serving time.

You can serve these in 1 oz shots or go all out and just make large adult parfaits. Either way, top with Whipped Cream and indulge.