I Believe I Can (stir) Fry

It finally happened. The Unwed Husband and I finally moved into our own place. It was an extremely long process. We started off in our own place in my hometown in Texas, moved to Idaho, came back a year later and worked our way back to the top. Now we're here and it's been awesome. It seems that I started my culinary ventures backwards though. For the past two or three years I've been cooking for families. Now I'm finding it hard to cook portions for two people. All that means is leftovers though. Nobody is really complaining. 

That being said it's time for me to get back into what I was trying to do in the beginning. I really need to keep this blog up and running. It's pretty ridiculous that I've left it abandoned. That's not cool at all. Maybe, if I had more comments and shares, (old school MySpace like-whore say what? JOIN MY LIKE TRAIN EL OH EL!) I'd have an incentive to write more. Ahem.. 

Just kidding, lovelies. It's honestly 100% my fault. I've been busy and lazy and sometimes I honestly just forgot. My apologies.

Now it's that part of the blog post after the apology where I act like a parent that neglects their children and I lavish you with gifts in the form of culinary knowledge. Usually these gifts include either chocolatey pieces of Heaven or cheesy comfort foods that will put you in a euphoric haze that will make you forget alllll about how crappy I am at keeping up with the whole blogging thing. Well, not this time. See, lately I've been on a bit of a health kick and my meals have become a lot healthier. So, this time, I'm going to act like a real parent and I'm serving you veggies and healthy protein with seafood. An Asian fusion, and you're going to like it, or else I promise. 

The dish I'm going to provide you with is inspired by local Chinese buffets. (Buffet? Healthy? Yeah. I know. Shut it. Nobody asked you.) I've lived in various places all over America and I've only found this in my hometown. I'm sure it has to do with the strong Latin American influences and the access to fresh shrimp daily. I really don't know. All I know is that it's freakin' delicious and I've mastered the art of making it. Right down to the shredded Iceberg Lettuce. Yes, Iceberg Lettuce. I have tried Bok Choy, regular cabbage and even endive. It calls for wilted Iceberg. Don't judge until you've tried it. And now, here is the moment you've all been waiting for, especially you, Evalinda.

Drum roll please... padadadadadadadadada

Jalapeno Chicken and Shrimp

                                    serves: 4

2 carrots sliced

2 chicken breasts chopped into 1/2 in pieces

1 lb raw shrimp, shelled and deveined

1 jalapeno, sliced

1 onion, chopped in large pieces for texture

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

2 tbs oil

1 C shredded iceberg lettuce

Heat oil in wok or large pan.

Once hot, add in carrots, onion and garlic. Cook until onion is almost translucent.

Add in chicken, jalapeno and all seasonings. Stir continuously and cook until chicken is no longer raw.

Add in shrimp, continuing to stir until shrimp is completely opaque (about 2-3 minutes) and be careful not to over cook it.

Remove from heat and stir in iceberg lettuce. Cover and let the lettuce wilt.

Serve over steamed white or Basmati rice.

Me So Hungry. This Recipe No Take Long Time.

Is the title politically incorrect? You bet your midget ass it is!    _______________________________________________________________________________________

One of the sad truths of living during a recession is that you have to give up on the little things. One of the things that I miss most is Chinese take out. I also lived in Idaho for a year and while nothing compares to seeing the Maples turn red in fall, the crisp fresh air, the amazing snow topped mountains or late night snow ball fights; one thing they didn't have was decent Chinese food. We searched high and low for a place where we could get crisp General Tso Chicken that wasn't served with the sauce on the side or Beef and Broccoli that didn't look like soup and had flavor. Another thing that was hard to find were good egg rolls. Instead of giving up, I took this as a challenge. A challenge that I quickly accepted.

I searched for the perfect recipe and finally found one that didn't completely suck. I had no idea how simple it was to make egg rolls. The only thing that made them so tedious was the rolling part. If you've read my Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe you know how much I hate unnecessary rolling of things and always look for a way to make it easier and save time.

My friend Brandy is a Tupperware salesperson and before I left to Idaho we threw a Tupperware party. During that party I acquired this awesome little Empanada maker. I have made so many things with this one little contraption. Everything from fruit pies to chicken pot pies and homemade hot pockets. This inspired me to take everything from egg rolls and make a hybrid of a Fried Wanton, Egg Roll and a classic Empanada.

This may sound like an infomercial, but my favorite part about this gadget is that since it's Tupperware, it has a lifetime warranty which means I'll always have an Empanada maker no matter what. I wouldn't recommend filling them with baby poop like the one in the picture though.

I came up with this: A delicious little pocket of Egg Roll deliciousness with all of the flavor and none of the hassle. Plus, any chance I get to use new, fun products is always good. By request from the family, we served this with Cilantro Lime Rice but you could substitute that with Fried Rice or Lo Mein  or just eat these by themselves.

Extra Large Fried Wantons or Lazy Egg Roll Empanadas

• 16 oz pack of Nasoya Egg Roll Wrappers
• 16 oz bag of coleslaw mix
• 2 lbs ground pork or chicken
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1/4 c Oyster Sauce
• 1/4 c Soy Sauce
• 4 c oil in a small sauce pan

Brown chicken or pork in a large skillet with onion, pepper and ginger.

Remove from heat and transfer to a large bowl.

Add in package of coleslaw mix.

Stir in sugar, soy sauce and oyster sauce.

*For those with an empanada maker: Use bottom of gadget to cut a circle into one egg roll wrapper. Place circular wrapper on top, fill with 2 tbs of cabbage and meat mixture, wet edges with water and fold gadget closed. Repeat with remaining wrappers.

*For those without an empanada maker: Use a bowl to cut out a circle into one egg roll wrapper. Place wrapper flat and fill with 2 tbs of cabbage and meat mixture, wet edges with water and pinch closed. Use a fork around edges to make a design and ensure that all edges are closed properly. Repeat with remaining wrappers.

Heat oil in a small sauce pan and, one at a time, place the pockets into the oil. 

Fry until golden brown and bubbly.