Why hello there. I've been expecting you.

This little tiny blog has exploded from 240 followers to over 2.5 thousand and I really want to take this time to thank you. You are all amazing and you make my heart happy. There's just oooooone little thing. I think I need to explain the blog and Facebook page.

I'm a 26 yr old tattooed, pierced, pink haired foodie. I live with my boyfriend of four years. I'm very traditional but modern at the same time and I love to cook. A lot.  It's gotten to the point where we hardly ever go to restaurants because I would rather cook at home. My other passion is writing. I'm a few courses away from a Journalism degree. Finances got in the way. Life happens. It's fine. Put those together and have you got? Bibbity Bobbity Boo This blog!

That's ME! In a bathroom. Not using it. Just making fishy faces.  That's normal, right?

Welcome. Take a seat. Try the cookies.

Now that my little bio is out of the way, I feel that it's important that i stress that this is also a humor blog. Nothing is supposed to be taken too seriously. I make fun of cheflebrities, shows, networks and life in general. I have the sense of humor of a 15 yr old boy sometimes and a sad internet addiction so expect sarcasm, cursing and memes. You can also expect awesome recipes.

So far I've only seen a few comments from people that thought this was going to be some sort of ode to Martha Stewart. The hell, guys? Seriously? No.

One thought that I was racist for supporting Paula Deen and being from Texas and another was mad because I was rude and called Sandra Dee a lush. Guys? Seriously. WTF, guys? I will post a few green smoothie recipes at a later date to help loosen that constipation.

I definitely encourage sharing recipes. I will post. Revised versions of my own recipes are definitely encouraged. The fresher, the better. I love budget meals that use fresh ingredients. I have a pretty strong aversion to pre-made stuff, but I do sometimes have makeover recipes for those kind of meals. Need help with a recipe? Ask me. I'll give pointers and post that other members can give their advice as well.

Other than that, the main rule is HAVE FUN! Post. Share. Like. Comment. Invite.

And now a recipe for what I made last night. My cheapy version of Chicken Marsala.

                        Chicken Marsala                   Feeds 2

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, pounded or butterflied

2 C fresh sliced mushroom

1 medium yellow onion, sliced

1 C white wine (traditionally masala, but I used Pinot. Use whatever is on sale)

2 TBS cream cheese

salt, pepper, garlic to taste

1 tsp butter

2 TBS olive oil

Season chicken with s,p and g.

Heat olive oil in a large skillet and brown chicken on both sides. Do not scrub pan. See that brown goodness? That's flavor gold!

Place chicken in oven preheated to 350F until fully cooked.

Meanwhile, in the same pan, add butter and saute onion until almost soft.

Add in mushrooms and continue to saute until both onions and mushrooms are soft.
Stir in cream cheese until melted,

Add white wine and let boil.

Remove from heat. 

Serve sauce over chicken breast and brown rice.

Drink the rest of the wine. You deserve it.

Watch as people are amazed at how freakin' gourmet you are.

Why I've been MIA and the Cupcake Recipe You'll Want as a Main Dish

My lovelies, I  have missed talking to you. I was supposed to get my computer back last week, but problems came up and I honestly don't know when I'll be back online. Instead I'm having to go to my grandparents house and use their internet connection. This is backwards. Shouldn't my grandparents be coming to me for their technology problems and not the other way around? 

A lot has happened since we last spoke. For instance I've started baking. I've never really been much of a baker. This isn't because I can't bake, I just don't like being precise with my cooking. I hardly ever measure when I'm cooking. I think of cooking as an art and baking as a science. I hate science. I have, however discovered that I'm some sort of odd biscotti queen and I rock at making muffins from scratch. Another thing that happened is that my Facebook profile was banned for three weeks by a woman that found our Unwed Housewife Facebook page to be unfunny. Basically, the woman didn't find sarcasm and irony to be humorous, therefore she got her granny panties in a bunch and reported a picture in the group. Boo to you! Because of her reporting and my lack of an internet connection from which I could make an alternate profile and set it to admin, I was forced to leave the page and blog on a hiatus, but never fear. We're baaaaaaack, and I have a whole arsenal of foodie awesomeness awaiting.

I also have new addiction problem and I need help goal; to turn everything I can into a cupcake. It started off with meatloaf cupcakes which are essentially just meatballs covered in mashed potatoes. That left me wondering, if you can turn meatloaf into cupcakes, what other savory foods can be cupcakerized? I then Googled savory cupcakes and a Pandora's Box of savory cuteness was opened. My latest cupcake venture was a Taco Tuesday Twist on boring tacos. They were a huge hit and adorable at the same time. They were also incredibly simple to make.

Taco Cupcakes    makes 24

2 lbs ground beef

1 can refried beans

2 c Cheddar or Monterrey Jack cheese

12 oz package of Nasoya Wonton Wrappers

two packs of taco seasoning

sour cream, diced tomato, lettuce, green onion and assorted toppings

2- 12 count muffin tins

Preheat oven to 350*F.

Brown beef in a large skillet and follow directions on taco seasoning packet. Set aside

If preferred, heat beans in a separate pan. (Optional)

Place one sheet of wonton in a greased cupcake tin.

Place a dollop of beans on top of wonton followed by about a tbs of beef, a tsp of cheese, another  wonton wrapper, another tbs of beef and top it with another tsp of cheese.

Repeat in that order until both tins are full.

Place tins in oven for 20-30 minutes or until wrappers are crisp.

Top with a dollop of sour cream and your choice of taco toppings.

Serve with Spanish rice and beans,

So the week has started and you're feeling like a lazy S.O.B

Never fear! The Unwed Housewife has the solution.

I love to cook, but sometimes I want fast food that I can still make at home and not have to stare into the face of a greasy temperamental teenager that has already lost all lust for life. For those days I have simple meals that I fancy up and make look a lot more complicated than they really are. The trick? Options and attention to detail.

On Saturday I made Baked Potato Soup and bought a sub sandwich from Walmart. I sliced the sub and arranged it on a platter. I also cut up a variety of toppings for the soup and veggies for the sandwich then arranged them on the table. My family went crazy for that.

On Sunday I made a super simple supper staple; Spaghetti Bolognaise. What made that seem more special than usual is that I set up a salad bar with a variety of toppings. It's perfect for lazy days or days where it's too hot and you don't want to be in an even hotter kitchen.

Then there's those days that are kind of in between. Days situated between grand meals like Beouf Bourguingnon and Shrimp Boils. Days where you want something hearty and filling but still kind of light. Those days are dedicated to pot pies and cobblers.

"Cobbler," you ask?

Yes, Chicken Cobbler. It's fast, cheap and easy. Like your mom, but less sinewy.

I rarely add captions to my recipe pictures, but does this not look like a drawing?

Chicken Cobbler         Serves 6

• 4 chicken leg quarters, boiled and shredded
• 1 package Pillsbury Pie Crusts
• 1 Family Size 26 oz can of Cream of Chicken Soup
• 1 small 11 oz can of cream of potato soup
• 1 regular 12 oz bag frozen peas and carrots
• 1/2 c milk
• salt, pepper and garlic to taste

Preheat oven to 375*F.

Take a 9x13" dish and line it with one sleeve of pie crust.

Mix all other ingredients together in a large bowl.

Pour into dough lined pan.

Unroll the other sleeve of pie crust.

Cut into 1/2 inch thick strips and weave on top of mixture.

Place in oven until crust is golden brown.
Serve with salad or mashed potatoes.